In a social media landscape often dominated by playful dances and aesthetic montages, one surprising trend remains steadfast: historical grave cleaning.
On social media platforms, including Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Reddit, users have created online communities around the practice of cleaning gravesites. Audiences have become fascinated by the trend — some revel in the paranormal, others search for long lost ancestors, and many just enjoy watching the satisfying act of a deep clean.
As content creators visit cemeteries and document their restorations, bringing in millions of views, the internet remains divided — some see the trend as helpfully wiping away 100 years of grime, while others see it as capitalizing on gravesites without proper care or respect, potentially breaking laws or accelerating wear and tear on monuments.
In recent weeks, the practice has come under particular fire. Stacey Habecker, known as “The Clean Girl” online, caused intense controversy with her upbeat and vibrant approach to grave cleaning.
In one TikTok video, which has amassed almost 140 million views, Habecker, who appears in the same pink and black outfit in every video with her hair in pigtails, is shown throwing a hot pink ball in the cemetery and cleaning the grave it landed near. She goes on to use a leaf blower, a vacuum cleaner and her own commercial hot pink cleaning solution on the gravestone and surrounding areas — which experts say could not just harm the stone, but corrode it altogether. She ends the video by revealing the name of the deceased.
Many commenters described having “mixed feelings” about the video, noting that it had elements that seemed at the same time to honor the grave and disrespect it.
Though it is unclear what is in the “bright, fun, foaming cleaning spray,” as described on the product’s website, Jason Church, chief of technical services at the National Center for Preservation Technology and Training, warned that harsh chemicals and power tools weaken and erode layers of headstones. Aside from a few approved stone cleaners and tools, many substances can cause graves more harm than good.
“Yes, that stone is going to get clean instantly, but what you’ve done is, realistically, probably 50 to 75 years’ worth of natural weathering in an instant,” Church told NBC News.
Despite the outcry of comments, reaction videos and expert advice, “The Clean Girl” continued creating and re-uploading grave cleaning videos to YouTube, Instagram and TikTok — getting hundreds of millions of views across her platforms. Habecker hasn’t publicly reacted to the controversy, and she didn’t respond to a request for comment.
“You have no idea what meaning or symbolism those things at the grave that you are touching, rearranging and aggressively, disrespectfully cleaning hold,” Andra Berghoff said in a reaction video via TikTok, referring to the removal of flowers and personal items from the graves.
In some cultures, grave cleaning is part of family duty and tradition, such as with Día de los Muertos in Mexican and Central American culture. Every year ahead of and on Nov. 1, many families go to their loved ones’ graves to clean their monuments.
Many also wonder whether Habecker had permission from the family or the caretaker of the burial site, which Church said is nonnegotiable. Many cemeteries, he added, may require training or advise the public to stay away from certain historical graves.
In several states, laws and ordinances allow cemetery owners to limit access to non-family members, as well as designate specific times of access, to deter nighttime trespassing. Parties could also be held responsible for reckless practices causing damage to the graves.
“There’s no good Samaritan rule in preservation,” Church said, adding that many graves are owned by dioceses, foundations or counties or are family-owned. “We can’t just go clean something because we felt like it needed to be done.”
That, many creators say, is far from an accurate representation of the broader grave-cleaning community, which users say ideally works to inform, educate and equip volunteer grave cleaners with the resources needed to safely preserve headstones — and history.
For members like Justin Frost, the hobby of grave cleaning came as a natural extension of a desire to learn more about his family history.
But Frost’s search for his ancestry didn’t lead him very far — just 10 minutes away at the local cemetery, where he learned many of his elders were buried in unkept and overgrown graves.
“It was pretty obvious that nobody was going there and taking care of these people’s gravestones,” Frost said in an interview.
Determined to fix up his family’s burial site, Frost delved into online research and attended a training session to learn how to clean and restore headstones, sparking a love for historical preservation that he shares with almost 150,000 TikTok followers.
“There is absolutely no substitute for hands-on training,” he said, emphasizing the importance of a cautious start to the practice. “Some things you can’t learn by watching a video, and it’s always better to be there doing it with somebody that can supervise.”
Since he began in 2017, Frost has continued to exercise an abundance of caution while he cleans graves. Because of his knowledge, he was granted permission to work on headstones in his city cemetery — but he adds he has an insurance policy protecting him from accidental damage, just to be safe.
On his account, Past Preservations, Frost cleans grave sites while he shares pieces of history of those who have passed on. Many commenters, Frost said, have been able to locate ancestors through the stories he shares online — even his own wife, who was put into contact with a distant relative because of the content.
“A lot of these people died at a time where they didn’t get an obituary,” he said. “So that’s kind of my little obituary to them.”
For Frost, who works a full-time job, the hobby has “changed” him. In his social media bio, he shares safe products, resources and training for followers to get involved in the volunteer efforts, too.
“This definitely is my Zen,” he said. “It calms me down, and I really enjoy sharing it with other people because it’s a passion of mine.”
And in that passion, he’s far from alone — surrounded by fellow content creators and millions of fascinated viewers worldwide.
Allyson Stephenson, also known as “Crazy Cemetery Lady” to her almost 50,000 TikTok followers, found the practice through social media and used it as an outlet to stay “busy and focused.” Much like Frost, she went to several in-person workshops and did extensive research before she started historical cleanings.
“I always tell people, especially when I do my lives, it’s taken over 100 years for this to get dirty. It’s going to take some time to get clean,” she said, explaining that safe products such as D/2 Biological Solution work over six months and won’t create the instant brightness unsafe cleaners may offer.
Stephenson, who has cleaned over 2,000 headstones in four summers, said her passion for genealogy motivates her love of preservation.
“I’m not in it for fame, fortune and everything else. My thing is to preserve the headstones, make sure that they’re there for the next couple generations, and to tell their stories,” Stephenson said in a phone call.
And through social media, Stephenson said, the community of grave cleaning has only grown — allowing others to take part and continue preserving history one gravestone at a time.
“I’m not in this alone. There’s groups of us out there, and if we can get more people, there [aren’t] going to be any cemeteries to clean up, because we’ll be done with them all,” she said.
Many organizations — such as the National Center for Preservation Technology and Training — train volunteers and organize events solely dedicated to restoring gravesites. Church, Frost and Stephenson all encourage interested viewers to find local courses and train before they try to restore a stone and to do so with the proper intentions.
In doing so, many say, not only will cemeteries remain respectful places of rest, but historical figures — known or unknown to the masses — can continue to be honored in some small way.
“If that headstone is gone, then they’re gone,” Stephenson said. “They’re erased from time. It’s like they never existed.
“The more people out there doing the right things, using the right stuff, can mean so many more cemeteries are saved from just crumbling to dust,” she added.
