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Festive season anxiety is more common than we think. Here we explain why holidays trigger overwhelm, family stress, loneliness, and how to manage it with science-backed tools.
The festive season compresses an entire year’s worth of expectations into a few short weeks. While the world around us seems to demand joy, togetherness, and abundance, our internal landscape may be dominated by stress, fatigue, or uncertainty.
The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, connection, and gratitude but for many people, this period brings the very opposite: emotional overwhelm, comparison, burnout, and even loneliness. The pressure to feel a certain way can amplify whatever we are already carrying, making hidden anxieties feel louder and harder to ignore.
According to Dr Devanshi Desai, Counselling Psychologist and Couples Therapist, the emotional intensity we experience during the holidays is not only valid, it is now an increasingly common psychological pattern.
Why the Holidays Trigger Emotional Overwhelm
The festive season compresses an entire year’s worth of expectations into a few short weeks. While the world around us seems to demand joy, togetherness, and abundance, our internal landscape may be dominated by stress, fatigue, or uncertainty.
Dr Desai explains that this emotional dissonance, the gap between how we’re “supposed” to feel and how we actually feel is often where anxiety takes root. As people reflect on the year gone by, unachieved goals, relationship struggles, or personal setbacks resurface. Social media intensifies this by amplifying milestones, vacations, promotions, and celebrations, making it easy to feel as if we’re falling behind.
Layered on top of this is a packed festive calendar: weddings, family events, office obligations, travel, shopping, planning. With multiple roles demanding attention simultaneously, people lose access to the rest their nervous system relies on. Burnout follows naturally.
When Family Gatherings Reactivate Old Patterns
Families are powerful emotional ecosystems, they are where we learned our earliest coping strategies and relational roles. Returning to them can unconsciously pull us back into outdated patterns, even if they no longer reflect who we are today.
According to Dr Desai, seemingly harmless comments about appearance, career choices, relationships, or lifestyle can tap into old wounds, reactivating unresolved emotional layers.
In many Indian households, difficult conversations are avoided, which pushes unspoken tensions beneath the surface. Being under one roof brings these unsaid layers closer to consciousness, often resulting in emotional complexity or discomfort.
The pressure to meet cultural expectations adds another emotional load especially for adults who feel that their family still relates to an earlier version of them.
Why Loneliness Peaks in December
Loneliness is not defined by being alone, it is defined by feeling emotionally unseen. The festive season is saturated with images of closeness: families gathering, couples travelling, friends celebrating. This contrast can deepen feelings of isolation.
People may attend multiple events yet feel disconnected; small talk rarely offers the depth or emotional safety the nervous system seeks. December also carries a nostalgic quality. Memories of lost loved ones, friendships that changed, or traditions that no longer exist resurface, intensifying emotional emptiness.
Therapist-Backed Tools to Regulate Anxiety
Dr Desai recommends simple, science-backed techniques to help regulate the nervous system during festive overstimulation:
1. Grounding through sensory anchors
A familiar perfume, a soft keychain, a textured object, sensory anchors can help bring the body back into safety when overwhelmed.
2. Box Breathing
Inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 4, exhaling for 4, holding for 4. This structured breath pattern lowers stress hormones and regulates the heartbeat.
3. The 90-Second Pause
As neuroscientist Dr Jill Bolte Taylor notes, the chemical surge of a strong emotion lasts roughly 90 seconds. A brief pause, stepping aside, splashing water on the face, or breathing consciously allows the wave to pass before reaction.
4. The 30% Rule
The belief that we must show up at “100%” during the holidays sets us up for burnout.
Instead, Dr Desai suggests asking: “What do I realistically have capacity for today?”
Offer just 30% more enough to participate, without draining your emotional battery.
Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
Boundary guilt stems from the belief that saying no is disrespectful, a message many Indian families unknowingly reinforce.
But, as Dr Desai emphasises, boundaries protect relationships by preventing resentment. Effective strategies include:
Capacity-based planning: “I’m at capacity today, but let’s plan something later.”
Yes-and boundaries: “Yes, I’ll join, and I’ll need to leave by 11 PM.”
Shared responsibility: Delegating tasks instead of carrying everything alone.
Boundaries make celebrations more authentic, not less loving.
Managing Expectations Around Marriage, Career & Appearance
For young people, December often brings renewed scrutiny.
Marriage timelines, promotions, paychecks, weight, appearance, everything becomes a topic of commentary.
Dr Desai advises reframing: these expectations reflect cultural norms, not personal inadequacy.
Tools that help:
Bridge responses: “I appreciate your concern, but I’m taking things step by step.”
Internal anchoring: “Their timeline isn’t my timeline.”
Finding an ally: Someone who can redirect intrusive conversations.
Conversational boundaries: “I don’t feel comfortable discussing that today.”
The Hidden Emotional Layers of the Festive Season
Beyond anxiety, December carries under-addressed emotional dynamics:
Disrupted routines
Late nights, heavy meals, alcohol, travel, and overstimulation dysregulate the nervous system, making people more reactive or drained.
Grief resurfacing
Festivals often make the absence of loved ones feel sharper. Even years later, memories can trigger fresh waves of grief.
The post-festival crash
When the lights go off and social calendars quieten, many experience a noticeable emotional dip. This is the nervous system recalibrating after weeks of stimulation — a normal but rarely discussed experience.
A Kinder Way to Experience the Festive Season
Festive anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of humanity. By recognising emotional triggers, setting boundaries, honouring our limits, and understanding the psychology behind the season, we create space for a more grounded, compassionate, and meaningful celebration.
As Dr Devanshi Desai reminds us, the goal isn’t to perform happiness, it’s to stay connected to yourself while moving through the season with authenticity, gentleness, and emotional clarity.
Swati Chaturvedi is a seasoned media professional with over 13 years of experience in journalism, digital content strategy, and editorial leadership across top national media houses. An alumna of Lady Shri Ram …Read More
Swati Chaturvedi is a seasoned media professional with over 13 years of experience in journalism, digital content strategy, and editorial leadership across top national media houses. An alumna of Lady Shri Ram … Read More
November 26, 2025, 16:41 IST